Embarrassment for Two Please

I do clumsy or silly things from time to time, though I try to not embarrass myself.  But if I do, I can usually laugh it off and not feel too judged for whatever I just did.  After having a baby, there is a period of time where anything goes.  Oh, is that spit up on my shirt?  Poop? Did my baby just pee on you?  I'm sorry, she just entered the world yesterday.  People generally seem to give you a "pass" for possible embarrassing things that your baby might do.  But then you reach a point where you finally feel like you are a normal human again, and this "pass" may or may not still exist.  In my mind, my 14 month old and I should have it together by now, and I do actually get embarrassed by silly things she does.  This child can fart.  She is a petite little thing and only weighs about 20lbs.  It is shocking what sounds and smells she makes when she farts.  It has sounded like a motor boat, it has sounded like the eye of the thunderstorm is right over our heads, and it can stink up a room in a second.  So, picture yourself pushing a stroller around Target with your darling little 14 month old where people always say, "She's so small!", and out comes a fart similar to the roar of a lion.  You quickly look around to see who was in ear shot of the monstrous sound, and give a slight uncomfortable smile to anyone who was.  The best part about it all-I usually can't help but giggle when she does fart, so now whenever she does let one rip, she smiles and sometimes will giggle too.  It is adorable when it happens at home, but extremely embarrassing when it happens in out in public, mostly because I know all of the strangers are thinking it was me who let one sneak out in the middle of the store.
The other embarrassing thing that happened recently was hopefully only embarrassing in my mind.  Harper loves to pick things up from anywhere she can find them and leave them in a different place.  This time, it happened to be a purple, lacy pair of my underwear that ended up in the diaper bag.  It wouldn't have been a big deal if I wouldn't have left my diaper bag in the nursery at my MOPS group one morning.  Now, I have no idea if the pair of underwear was discovered by the sweet girls that watch the babies while the moms have time to ourselves in our meeting.  But how embarrassing is that if they did?? I didn't realize the underwear was in the bag until we got home later that day and was MORTIFIED.  Lesson learned: Your sweet baby might fart in public from time to time and there is nothing you can do to prevent that, but you can check your diaper bag for run away underwear before leaving the house.

So sneaky. 

Fart smile? :) 

Phases of a first time mom's attitude to motherhood

I created this blog while I was patiently waiting for our bundle of joy to arrive, planning to write AT LEAST once a week about all of the wonderful, and possibly comical things my baby does. Well, that didn't happen. The fact that I thought I could keep up with a weekly post is comical in itself.  In 9 days, she will be NINE MONTHS OLD. But hey, it's never too late right?  Motherhood has been wonderful, exhausting, rewarding, and quite an adventure. I remember as a new teacher seeing a diagram of the phases of a first year teachers' attitude toward teaching, and strangely enough, I feel that I have gone through the same phases as a new mom. It began with anticipation, then made a downward dive into full on survival mode. The first three months of her life were pure survival for all parties involved. I was an emotional wreck and cried every day at 7:30pm. I cried because we created such a precious, tiny human, I cried because I didn't think I could love my husband any more, but seeing him with our baby made my heart burst, and I cried because I felt like I had our baby on my boob every hour of every day.  I remember my husband bouncing our baby like a boss while she just cried and refused to be soothed by him, and he looked at me with the sympathy in his eyes one feels when seeing a lost puppy as he said, "I think she's hungry".  I should mention that to this day, she will not take a bottle, so I am still her sole life source. I couldn't wait to get her out of my belly and share the responsibility of keeping her alive, but she had other plans. That being said, I transitioned nicely into the next phase on the diagram,  which is disillusionment. So here was this beautiful, absolutely precious bundle of joy that God has blessed us with and I love so much, but my husband couldn't give her a bottle (or give me any relief).  In my mind, this wasn't how having a baby was supposed to go. Slowly but surely, she started to go longer between feedings and I entered the next phase: rejuvenation. I started to finally feel like myself again. I could leave the house without extreme anxiety that I would have to whip my boob out in public. I started to anticipate her needs, and she started interacting with us more. She transitioned from a newborn who literally slept, peed, pooped, farted, and sometimes smiled, into a baby. A very adorable, inquisitive, fun baby who conquered milestones earlier than all of those baby charts said she would. The next phase of the diagram is reflection, which I am experiencing now. I am thinking about how hard it was, but how fun it is now. She stands up, sits down, then stands up holding onto whatever is in her reach countless times a day. She crawls, and crawls FAST.  She cruises, holding onto anything to give her support as she takes steps to get where she wants to go. She climbs the stairs (we totally encouraged this and immediately regret doing so). She makes goofy faces to make us laugh. She is very ticklish, and has the cutest little baby giggle when you tickle her in the right places. She's eating baby foods now, and loves to take bites of my banana every morning. Her favorite thing to play with is a plastic bottle, and anything she can easily carry in her right hand while crawling around. Her favorite thing to do is take everything out of the middle pocket on her diaper bag, which consists of Mommy's Chapstick, lipgloss, eye glass cleaner, flash drive, and a Starbucks gift card. She babbles and maybe says mommy, but that could just be wishful thinking. She truly is a joy, and I can't believe she has been with us for almost nine months. The last phase on the diagram is anticipation, something my husband and I both feel and talk about. We wonder what her voice will sound like, what her interests will be, what her hair will look like, and how sassy she will be when she's 2.  Though as we anticipate what life will be like, we will continue to enjoy this full of personality little nugget!